My Life as a Cult-Follower

I find myself sometimes asking, what will I do, once I’m a full Catholic? The answer is…I don’t know. But I do have an idea. I think I’ll join a Catholic cult and worship Mary. I can’t wait to just find all the Mary worship and finally join in. Every time I try to worship Mary in mass I get kicked out. (Funny problem, that one.)

Kassie and I have been talking about joining Opus Dei. Now, I know what you’re thinking. And yes, you’re exactly right, I’m taking my best friend/girlfriend into the middle of a Catholic cult that intends to rule the world through the petty, albeit dangerous stunts of rogue albino monks.

Well, since I am dating a spy from the Vatican, I may as well announce my plan(Doesn’t every evil genius?):

I intend to conquer the world with the Secret Vatican Spy, and we are going to do so in style(Fendi and Versace), by conquering the world under the full and powerful jurisdiction of the Jesuits, and the personal direction of Opus Dei. We intend to make full use of intense and merciless corporal mortification and will steal art, kill curators, and bribe the police as necessary to make our leaders profit in power. We will extend the reach of the secret Inquisition and torture the non-believers to keep the Church’s secrets hidden. We will crucify any who oppress us at famous Catholic sites in Rome, or at the very least Maryland. This would make us so exceedingly happy it would be disgusting.

We would be handsomely rewarded for stealing from the world to feed the Vatican coffers, and they would buy us a villa in Rome for our services to the Whore of Babylon’s favorite cult. We’d be so happy with ourselves we’d steal away into the night and make cult babies to follow in our treacherous Opus Dei footsteps. We would make so many cult babies in fact that Opus Dei would herald me as the most successful man in the world, for turning my wife into a veritable baby farm. It would be wonderful.

Ok, for those of you who are rational enough to understand I was kidding, thanks for reading on.

What Opus Dei is can be answered here and in the linked documents on that page. Opus Dei is not a treacherous organization, and to simply refute a claim of the Da Vinci Code hands down right now, Opus Dei has no monks. It’s a “secular vocation.” This means, it’s a literal calling, just like marriage and celibacy. It’s intention is to help make faith a central part of your life, and to encourage you towards a more spiritual way of living secular life. The intent is to see everyday life as opportunity to connect with God.

I mean, I’d love to join a secret Catholic conspiracy to take over the world, especially if I were to be allowed a license to Inquisition, but frankly, there isn’t anything like that in the Catholic Church. Trust me. I’ve looked.

Pastorally Motivated Questing

Moving right along, and now that we’ve poked fun at some myths and conceptions floating about due to Dan Brown’s horribly inaccurate yet wildly popular piece of fast-paced, impossible drivel let’s talk about the real Opus Dei.

I am a pastor-convert. I obviously feel called to work pastorally in the Church, but I know I’m not supposed to be a priest. What is a young convert to do? Well, Opus Dei seems to be the preliminary answer to this question. Whether I will ultimately join or not remains to be seen. However, on a totally shallow and half-joking side-note, it would be awesome to see the looks on people’s faces if it ever comes up in conversation. Seeing the sheer terror on especially the hardcore Dan Brown lovers out there or the fundamentalists who disagree with his Christology but like his conspiracy theory, would simply tickle me.

But on a serious note, Opus Dei is not a crazy cult, they are legitimate in the eyes of the entire Church, and their teachings in no way deviate from the teachings of the Church. My calling to continue to be active in service and helping others seems to fit the general mission of Opus Dei. My guess is that some of you might have already looked into organizations and fraternities and prelatures like this.

I guess the tip we can glean from this little thought project is, if you’re a former pastor, you’ll likely feel a need to be doing something. Well, you may as well do something useful, that is bigger than yourself or your local parish. I’m not discouraging involvement in your local parish, but if you’re likely to be tempted into a power struggle with your priest, or otherwise tempted by having too much energy to give, it might be time to look into something like Opus Dei.

I know that the program of spiritual instruction that they offer to their members and even non-members. As a convert, I know that I’m looking for ways to develop a rich and full-bodied Catholic life that is both interior and exterior. To do so, something like Opus Dei sounds just like what the Great Physician ordered.

I mean if it doesn’t work out, I suppose I could always continue questing for that super-secret-yet-recently-exposed-in-pop-fiction-catholic-cult and resume my plans to take over the world and worship Mary while making cult-babies with The Secret Vatican Spy.

St. Josemaria Monday

This is the first post on my new kick to study Opus Dei, and to begin to discern my vocation process to see if joining the prelate is my call. So, instead of offering pros and cons, as some might, I want to talk about the thoughts on my mind, and then write about the Founder of Opus Dei’s writing. So let’s get to it.

Life is moving fast. At the time you are reading this, I spent all night preparing myself to steel away into the night in Florida and arrive in the day in Tulsa, Oklahoma, so that I reunite with The Secret Vatican Spy and we can continue our evil plot to take over the world.

I should have arrived by the time most of you are reading this, but I wanted to let you know that I’ll be spending today meditating on the works of St Josemaria Escriva while I fly, as I give you updates via my twitter.

Anyways, Kassie and I talked these past few weeks about Opus Dei. I called my sponsor, (Yes, I still know I’m “a grown ass man” as my friend Carlos put it, who does not need a sponsor. Some things are better done with friends, even if it makes you look ridiculous,) and we talked. He likes my ideas, and is supportive of me and Kassie dating, he was “tickled” by the idea when I informed him.

He knows both of us and has known us since before we decided Catholicism is where we’re called. I  have known him for a few years. I’m not sure where Kassie met him or how long they go back, but either way he’s a great Catholic leader and a trusted friend. In fact he’s so awesome I have decided to nickname him Papa Smurf.

Papa Smurf is a great guy and I am glad he’s pleased. He’s like a second father to me, and having his support was more indescribably amazing than there are words in this or any other language. He listened to the dastardly tale of a wedding, and how two Catholics met in the early Denver morning and began a glorious friendship that became something more. Anyways, he likes me dating Kassie, and he liked the idea of us looking into joining Opus Dei.

He knows my heart and supported the thought, as a convert himself, I feel reassured that his thought life on all this is just right in sync with my own. But alas, today is the day we begin discussing the writings of St. Josemaria Escriva on character from his writings found here.

Let’s look at our first passage:

Don’t let your life be barren. Be useful. Make yourself felt. Shine forth with the torch of your faith and your love.

With your apostolic life, wipe out the trail of filth and slime left by the corrupt sowers of hatred. And set aflame all the ways of the earth with the fire of Christ that you bear in your heart. -St. Josemaria Escriva

Since this is my practical, and personal blog, we won’t go into a crazy amount of depth. Just meditate on these words. Think on them, let them fill you, for if you desire, you would think and live in the same life that St. Josemaria encourages us to adopt. If you desire and so act, you too can become all flame.*

First he encourages us in fruitfulness, to till the soils in our hearts, to make sure we are at work. “Blessed is the servant who is working when the master comes.”

Be a worker, be useful, the gospel is too good to do nothing with. Allow people to see the gospel at work in you, and let your faith be matched by your love as a single torch.

It’s interesting that St. Josemaria calls our life apostolic, but it is! We are all the offspring of the apostles, and while the office and specific gifts of that office are not ours, what is ours is the evangelistic power, and the same Holy Spirit. Undo the hatred in the world with the fiery love of the gospel. Set the earth alight and to burning with the simple light, that you refuse to put under a bowl. It is this very same little light, the fire of faith and the warmth of love that shall change the world.

—

* This is a story about two Desert Fathers, Abba Lot, and Abba Joseph.

The story goes like this: Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said to him, ‘Abba as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?’ Then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire and he said to him, ‘If you will, you can become all flame.’