Concessions and Overtures
Ok, here’s the deal. Life has been unexpectedly rough. From my car crash, to the sudden feeling of abandonment, to the emptiness of my spiritual life, I have felt so heavy.
I have been living in an ugly silence, i haven’t been reading, or writing, i have lost, or ignored the community that fostered me in faith.
It has been terribly lonely the last few months, but finally, I’m washing from my slumber abs daring to reignite the fire that had carried me through before this great heaviness.
I never did enter the Church. So I’m still practically Catholic. I go to confession, but haven’t made my profession of faith. Just in case you were wondering.
Anyways, i feel myself coming back to life. I love my new place. I share a home with an artist, a medical student, and a guy who works at a coffee shop. It’s pretty awesome. There are children over because my friend Rainbow teaches art from our home.
Then there’s the pets. I have a particular fondness for the skittish Italian greyhound named Hank. He is a rescue and survived 8 years of abuse at a puppy mill. The poor guy has huge problems with attachment, and blocks out just about everyone. Yet he has started coming about my room and stands at the door, and stares, i often stare right back at him, and we have reached an understanding. At first, he barked, and barked, and attempted to terrorize myself and any other adult in his vicinity.
Hank has taught me lots about myself in the short time that I have known him. I too, have issues with trust and friendship. I mean, i always knew this about myself, but it’s become more evident over the past few months. Hank was a slave, and he is drastically afraid. I realized through hanging out with him that i too have been afraid.
I have given way to great fear, which means that love has gone from my presence. Where fear exists, love is bound.
I guess in writing tonight, i thought to come clean and discover that healthy sorrow that purifies the souls of humanity. I’ve been too long in silence, and at last, i have found my voice, hidden and cowering deep in the recesses of forgotten pains. I left it there, somewhere along the way. But, it has returned to me, full of life, and ready to speak.
Love had not yet restored me, but i am well on my way.
So, I offer you a welcome back, as i prepare for my next journey. My next project is to blog about my experiences working at a mental and behavioral health facility.
I will also be putting out my thoughts on psychology in the coming weeks. I hope we can enrage each other in serious thought about so demanding a subject. And should any of you have something to add, please, chime in.
Peace, be with you.